Another Fish

I met a guy from the internet. I know it's crazy, but we had mutual friends on Facebook and I felt it inevitable to run into him naturally, so we just sped up the process and agreed to meet for a casual dinner.

He was an urban skater boy with nice shoes and jew hair- I was attracted to him. We drank some 40's and hooked up a little that night. He introduced me to his housemates as "Emily," which was funny because my name is Erin. After his first impression, I just wanted hook up with him- nothing more. After a series of backseat and beach blanket makeouts, my intentions became obvious. He told me he would only have sex with a girl he was in a relationship with. This was unexpected.

So we started seeing each other even more frequently. Had dinner, saw movies, he even introduced to me his friends and made me a mix cd. Feelings grew and I'd like to say we were "casually dating."

Time went on and I still hadn't closed the deal, which made things seem more serious. The longer we waited, that special moment became magnified, so obviously I was waiting for an epic moment to set the mood. I believed once we had sex, our relationship would be a real commitment. I was so in love with the idea of a relationship, I was willing to have one with him.

One drunken night, we were getting frisky in my bed and a series of strange events occurred. There was some unorthodox sexual activity and all I remember is crying myself to sleep after reminiscing over a friend that had passed away. I was an emotional mess.

He went on vacation and we grew apart. Probably for the best. For a short time I obsessed over the semi-breakup and resented him for ending our fling. We never had sex, I was disappointed.

Months passed, all was forgotten. Until last night...

boys are stupid

1. him: your shoes are crazy
2. me: yeah, i love them
3. him: they're cool but i'm more of a flats kind of guy
4. me: & that's why we are different

had to turn away

one of my rules: under no circumstances (or only very, very special ones) should you kiss two different guys within the same twenty-four hour period

Satisfaction or moral?

The hardest part about this writing will be giving up my privacy. I guess I'll just have to do it.

Women are complicated creatures. We can usually have whatever we want. We tease men with our sex appeal and attractive wit.

 But is it always ethical to indulge in what you can have? 

One woman may be so sexy and unbearable to a man. But is a "fling" or one night stand something that is too sexy and unbearable for a woman to refuse? Why should a woman say no to something she wants? We are living creatures with wants, needs and it is hard to hold back. Woman, or I, face this dilemma in certain circumstances. 

Mine being- you just broke up, why hold yourself back? That question is answered with another question- why do you have to get all over the place so suddenly? Can you tie off all affection for a minute? And, even so, can you tie off all affection even if it satisfying and available to you? Should we indulge in these satisfactions or do our morals kick in and hold us back from making a "mistake" with a man that we have no standards for?

I guess I am so stubborn that I must learn everything the hard way. I don't really listen to anyone but myself. That's the way it is with me.

Fine, I'll fess up

Watching Sex in the City continues to tease me about fashion and sex columns. Here is my seed- it's time for my writing to blossom. I know my personal experiences are nothing like Carrie Bradshaw's, but I will try to excite you as much as possible.